From Tuesday:
Its been 4.5 cancer filled years of steady self inflection that I can finally claim some of cancer's good graces.
Yes, Gifts bestowed on me by a diease.
What may these be?
The power of clarity in decision making, The power of faith always and the power to prioritize.
I feel with those pieces together I am a stronger woman.
There is good news from yesterday!
My cancer is unchanged! I think it may have shrunk!!
I am taking two weeks off from chemo to recover from the holidays.
I've decided to keep my central line. I was a big pain in the ass yesterday.
That's what happens when I'm over drugged.
I said yes to getting my line out and on the table I decided no.
I'm confused.
Last week everybody treated my line like a lifeline that I could make myself comfortable through by injecting myself or getting fluids at home, yesterday its coming out.
I wanted it out bc x does and it interferes with showers.
Beyond that, it's like a security blanket.
I was anti-chemo yesterday whether my cancer had grown or not.
My bone marrow can't handle it. I have a productive cough.
The neupogen worked. I have a white cell count of 14000.
Can't remember much else, which is too bad.
I robbed marc and anna of giving me some good news.
Even better: I'll be able to see x's first basketball game weds.
We'd decided I'd be wheeled with IVs and all if it came to that.
Some things can't be missed.
He's upset enough I not only haven't been helping but I haven't gone to all the practices. Missing games is crossing a line.
Yayayay, Now I have some time to seriously get into christmas!
